Old entry of an old entry - ie today is my 21st time to contemplate

cherylstweedy Sep 12, 2008

Future Me

I've been looking through old diaries and surprisingly some of the things in them still hold very much true. I wrote in one on the last page a note to future me. I think I was 14 when I wrote it. It's not very poetic, it just makes me realize how little I've done in 4 years.

Dear Future Me,

Don't be so glum. I know I'll be sad and lonely, no love to be found, but love will eventually come your way. I promise you that.

Well I was lying to myself, but I'll keep positive for now. This past December I would've laughed because I thought it was the end. Too bad, guess I have to have hope again.

List of things to do:

No more empty promises

Tags: diary, future, love

Posted on 04/02/2006 5:28 PM Comments (1)

I can't believe I wrote that. I think now 7 years later I have made some changes. Can you believe it though as much as I have cool people I hang out with I'm still the sad and lonely girl. I still have yet to find that person I can truly open up to, a close call here and there, but nope. For being such a glum I'm the most optimistic pessismist you'll ever meet. What makes the fact it references December so interesting is at 18 in December I swallowed a bottle of pills. I suppose it's not that shocking. I don't exactly hide it, but I don't walk up to people and say 'hey I had a failed suicide attempt, and you?' This is going ramble out as most posts do.

I don't recall my goal with this so let's go with. I'm 21 I don't drink, I don't do drugs and to my slight dismay I don't have sex. Let's see if 21 changes that.